| You pulled that from where!?!? |
[03 May 2009|01:21pm] |
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http://www.theangrypharmacist.com/archives/2009/05/you_pulled_that_from_where.html So obviously more than one of you have noticed that I've been quite silent lately. Lawsuit? Work trouble? Life trouble? Unemployment? Nevah! Nobody can silence The Angry Pharmacist!
I'm working on a secret surprise for this site. One that I'm almost completed with. Its been a few months in the works, but I guarantee it'll set this site apart from every other ripoff site out there.
I haven't written a really funny entry about the public in a while, so here is something that has me disgusted, disturbed and really curious: Why do women with big boobs hide stuff in their bras?
It blows my mind. I go out for a consultation, and I ring them up for their copays. They stick their arm DOWN THEIR SHIRT, FEEL AROUND THEIR BOOB, THEN PRESENT ME WITH HUMID NASTY BOOB-MONEY. About mid breast-exam I'm thinking to myself "Oh god, I hope they dont pull their money from there", and sure enough out comes the wad of dollars (still steaming from sweat) as they proudly hand it to me. Ew.
I shit you not, they should of just reached down their pants, and pulled it from their crotch. That's how nasty this money is. Its in that 'moist' (god I hate that word) phase where its neither sopping wet or humid. Its at the point where you hate to put it in the register because it'll just moistify all of the other dollars in the stack.
What makes this even better, is that I've seen them pull cell phones (sometimes ringing), checkbooks (moist and nasty), pill bottles (labels are all moist and falling off), money, car-keys, etc from their boobs. Its like their boobs are little pockets of everything. Whats better is when there are MULTIPLE things down between those mommy-bags so they must rummage around their boobs (not one boob, but both of them) while a store full of people watches in a mixed horror and amazement. Sometimes Im afraid the'll put out some food and start eating it, or some dead animal lost forgotten under those fun-bags.
However, what especially drains my soul is that the woman is always large, ugly, loud and sweaty. Oh no, it can't be some 150lb 19 year old with size E knockers feeling around inside of her shirt in my presence; it has to be the drenched in sweat, mouth-breathing, fatsomyalgic, 400 lbs with size FFF boobs.
People seem to have no problem with women doing this. If I stuck my hand down the front of my pants and pulled out money, car-keys, my wallet, and a phone I would be hauled to jail.
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